Battle with laziness

After a long time, felt like writing something and it turned out to be a crap :(. It's okay, I will get  better!
I can't stop myself from posting this because I wrote it in the boring hours of office :D
Please go ahead only if you are in best of your moods :P

Of late, combating with laziness has become norm of my life! They say morning sun rays rejuvenate your mind and body.But for me it rouses each and every bit of slothfulness in me. I snug in my bed and keep snoozing the alarm. Every second seems to be priceless once I snooze my alarm. Snooze snooze snooze till the peak point is reached! until then I turn deaf ear to all the voices (inside and outside).

Morning in the life of 'S':

Eyes are closed and and 'S' is half asleep witnessing the conversation and waiting to take the side of the winner
(voice - something in 'S' which always wants to see 'S' as active as mercury)
(laziness - no explanation required :P)

Voice : "Good morning, time to wake up"
laziness : "SLEEP, its too early..even the alarm is sleeping"
Voice : "Don't listen to lazy, he is a looser and you will end up being one"
laziness : "Don't be a workaholic, take rest and recharge your batteries"
voice : "Get up else you will run short of time and miss the bus"
laziness : "If you know how to manage time, you will not miss the bus"

Alarm rings.. tududu...du.. tududu.. du...

voice : "Did you hear that? Now you can get up"
laziness : "Close your ears with the blanket and go back to sleep!!! Ohh no,
you can't, snooze it"
voice : "Who is going to make the breakfast? who will cook if you sleep
like this??"
laziness : "Don't worry everything can be done in one hour, its just 7:00am"

Alarm :tududu ...du...tududu...du... (I snooze it again)

laziness : "Good"!!!
Voice : "Ohh God,can't help.. save this lazy girl"
laziness : (Winning smile)
voice : "You swore yesterday that you will go for a morning walk"
laziness : " Why do you need it? you are not that fat"

Alarm :tududu ...du...tududu....du... (7:15am)

Voice : "after a long pause.. atleast you can exercise for 15 mins"
laziness : "Don't exercise you will be tired...."
Voice : "I can't fight with laziness and procrastination at once"
laziness : "Thanks Procrastination..(with winning smile) "

Alarm :tududu ...du...tududu....du... (7:30am)

Finally lazy lady wakes up and repents for 2 minutes then as usual she would swear again -
tomorrow onwards I get up at 6am!!!! Don't know when that tomorrow comes..

Kavana

This is my first poem which was published in my college magzine. I was extremely delighted to see my name
with the two preceeding words "Written By".. silly me ;) In fact, I wanted this poem to be the first one in my blog as well but unfortunately that couldn't happen. This post cannot wait anymore..

                              ಕಲ್ಪನೆಯ ಕಡಲಲ್ಲಿ ಭಾವಗಳ ಅಲೆಮೂಡಿ

                            ಅಲೆಗಳಾ ಲಯವೆಲ್ಲ ಸ್ಫೂರ್ತಿಯಾ ಸೆಲೆಯಾಗಿ

                              ಮೌನವದು ದನಿಯಾಗಿ, ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯ ಕೊರಳಾಗಿ

                              ಮೈದಳೆಯೊ  ಮಥನ, ಅದುವಲ್ಲವೆ 'ಕವನ'.

                                 ಸಂಗೀತ ಸುಧೆಯ ಸಂಪದವು ನೀನಾಗಿ,

                             ಕವಿಮನದ ಮೃದುಲತೆಯ ಬಿಂಬಿತವು ನೀನಾಗಿ,

                             ಸಹಜತೆಯ ಭಿನ್ನತೆಯು, ಪದಪುಂಜ ಮಂಜರಿಯು

                                 ಸ್ಫುರಣಕ್ಕೆ ಸ್ಪಂದನವು, ನೀನಲ್ಲವೆ 'ಕವನ'.

                                   ಕವಿತ್ವದ ಸತ್ವವು, ನವ್ಯತೆಯ ನಿನದವು,

                                    ನಿರ್ಲಿಪ್ತ ನೀರವದ ನೈದಿಲೆಯು ನೀನು,

                               ಸ್ಫುಟ ಪುಟಕೆ ಶ್ರಂಗಾರ, ಇಂಪದುವೆ ಮಂದಾರ,

                                   ಕಂಪನದ ಸಂಭವವು ಪದವಲ್ಲವೆ 'ಕವನ'.

Closing Time

After a long time, opened my old diary in which I used to scribble my thoughts. As I was flipping through the pages, something interesting caught my eyes. It was something I had written in one of my friends autograph book. Looks like I was really emotional that day!!! I am not sure what exactly I wanted to write there!! I guess that is the reason I have mentioned at the corner that 'Nebulous thoughts out of murky mind' :p

Well, I haven't changed much, so felt like publishing it here... :)

Here it goes....

Stroke of senti..embellished with flashbacks and lingering new hopes... Being at the verge of drowning past and rising future, what should I pen down to enrich the pot-pourri of memories!!!

Life wretches the days
Days of savouring silly stuffs

                 Joy of soaring our hopes sky high
                and facing the moments of disappointments...

Disappearing days of being slipshod
Lurking responsibilities with the days ahead

                 Lingering emotions,welling up tears
         My heart shrieking, Never bid adieu to friendship O my dear...

Life may take away all these things
But can never elude the feelings

                 Never ever it can pause us from
                 Cherishing the moments that etched in our heart...

How could this happen to me?!!

Sometimes things are out of your control, your intuition says do not do this, still you end up doing that! Here is an incident where negligence was at its height and cocksureness was at its best!

Today (Friday 05th March 2010) I thought of going to office earlier than my usual time. I was not sure about the company shuttle numbers which run during this time (7am to 7:30am). I called up transport desk and found out that B6 LV 46 is the bus number and it stops near Koramangala Maharaja Hotel at 7:18am. I reached MH at 7am. Please do not ask why so early!? Knowingly ya unknowingly reaching the bus stop early helps me to be in my comfort zone. In fact this is applicable to my life. Just to make that one ‘nth moment’ rest in peace, I keep myself restless for the other 1st,2nd,3rd......(n-1)th moments!!! That is the norm of Miss S’s life! Can’t help!

I reached the bus stop and wondered which side of the signal I am supposed to stand and wait, searched for the necks with Accenture Ids hanging around, no luck!! Then my super active brain which was kind of blank at that moment (because of lack of sleep on the previous night) decided to go to other stop (which is Sony World signal) with a hope that one or the other Accenture bus will stop there. I reached Sony world signal and met another Accenture Employee there. Both of us shared Hi, Hello, I am blah blah, I am from blah blah and all. Amidst our chit chat we missed 2 shuttles. Fine! I called up the transport desk again, and found out that, there are 2 more buses which will pass via sony world signal. As soon as I hung up the phone, noticed that one bus passed via other side of the signal. Ohh nooo....we started waiting for the last one...(I didn’t pay attention when the transport guy told the last bus number..I hated myself for this at a later point of time when I paid Rs.300 to the auto driver!). One more bus B6 MV 20B came from nowhere and stopped there, myself and my new friend ran with ecstasy and got into the bus which was about to move. Phew... we got the bus finally. Story doesn’t end here... You have to bear with me for some more time!! ;)


Hmm...Now the bus is taking different route than the usual one. I am all excited to see different part of Bangalore through the window. My friend miss A asked me, ‘are you sure we are in the correct bus ? I have a feeling something is wrong because they have not asked us to sign the trip sheet’. ‘B6 is written on the bus na.. don’t worry we will reach Bang6 (Accenture office in white field is called Bang6)’ I said confidently, busy looking outside the window. Finally we reached a place where we could see only Wipro offices and one or two Wipro employees in the bus got down. She said.’ Arre how come Wipro employees in our bus! even I wondered! Suddenly the bus stopped and one after the other with Wipro tags started getting down. Then we realized, Ohh God we are in the wrong bus and at the wrong place!!.

Okay...we said ‘let bygones be bygones’ (any better word to console yourself at such a situation?) and asked the auto driver which place is this? He said this is Electronic City..Gosh this is seriously different part of the world!!! (When you are supposed to go to White Field in the peak hours of the day in Bangalore). We decided to take an auto to go to other part of the world and started our journey. She was kind enough to lend me her hair clip after seeing my battle with the wind to keep my hair in place (or probably the state of my hair and sleepless shocked face reminded her of some hairy moments). Auto journey was fun as always: P. But it didn’t last long because auto stopped somewhere in the middle and we had to wait for next means of transport under the scorching sun. Waiting has to end at some point of time, it happened in our case also... finally got another auto which can compete with any type of cart and reached Whitefield... Phew!!

I am not a slipshod person, I take care of small things, I will be extra careful when it comes to trying new things.... still how could this happen to me?? Over Cautiousness entails carelessness??

How long to linger on...........

         

          Did I know? I wonder! Do I know? I mull over
         Why is this attachment? Can’t I just be ignorant?
Time to move on, decisions to be made on, still I stumble upon!!

          I think ..there is a chance, an opportune entrance
               for those who forfeit the comfort zone
              I fear.. there is a dearth, it's not worth
         but then, life will be steered to stagnant state

           If you want to grow,risk the change
        Don't let the fear of defeat to defeat you!
     Don't let the negativity to negate your positivity

      so far so good, do better and give your best
 stick to when you have to! come off when it calls for!
how long to dawdle to dare the destiny of conclusion!

           Look back to cherish the memories
  let warmth of relationships melt your heart,not the mind
    twilight has to go on...for the rise of New-moon!

Nah.. not now!!....

Current questions and thoughts which are strolling in the lane called mind are.............

Why shouldn't I start writing about shopping right now, at 12:30am!!? In the movie confessions of a shopaholic, the heroine Rebecca says ' The world gets better when I shop'. Today, after continuously shopping for past 2 weekends, I felt that, 'I get exhausted when I shop'. Thank God, I am not a shopaholic!

Where is the root of theism? Different part of the world witnesses different culture, still in every part of the world people believe in the existence of God. There is one thing common albeit there is difference in everything. This common thing is, the faith in existence of God. Isn't it wonderful? I am not an atheist. Still sometimes, I cannot stop wondering about the fact - how can every civilisation trust the supernatural power!

Uh-Uh..How did I end up doing this? I was supposed to go to bed! Okay..am going to shut down my laptop straightaway. Hey..wait..first publish this gibber, atleast for the sake of respecting your time!!! No editing and all,  just publish this post... Ok Ok.. am done... Good night! :)

Wonderful Dad :)

A little girl, about 11-12 years old is standing near the volleyball court. She is disquiet, lot of hopes in her eyes, eagerly waiting for the winning moment, she is cheering up her favourite team.

Her dad who is the captain of the team doesn't want to disappoint his daughter. He has promised his daughter the trophy though he is aware that opposite team is really strong and winning is not an easy task. His legs are letting him down; he is not able to play because of the leg pain, the only motivation is his daughter's wish! She has told him probably 100 times, papa you should win today. You have to take revenge for last year's defeat. I can’t see you loosing this time. Please Papa..do something...Her words ringing in his ears, he ignores the pain and jumps for the winning strike! That’s it! Team has won, his daughter is jumping with ecstasy as if she has conquered the world!...When his foot touches the ground he realises that he has badly hurt his leg. But it doesn’t matter to him because he has made his daughter happy. She comes running and throws herself into Papa’s arms.. and says... 'Papa Papa you have won! I am so happy’ being unaware of the fact that her dad has gone through so much pain just to see a smile on her face.

This is not an international match where people fight for the expectation of millions of fans. Still this man fought to keep up his promise as if his daughter’s desire is no second to the anticipation of millions of fans.

PS: Thanks for giving me such a wonderful moment Papa :) (Yeah that little girl is me and the man is my dearest most best sweet fantastic Dad!).

Still Green in My mind Screen

Today (Saturday, 7the Feb) is a wonderful day because I got an opportunity to visit the All England Tennis Club Wimbledon. Though I am not a tennis fan it was a thrilling experience to visit the place which has laid the platform for great beginnings, which has witnessed the ecstasy of victory and pain of defeat, which has seen the dawn and dusk of great careers, which has got a great history. So felt like posting this article, which means a lot to me. Soon I am going to write about Wimbledon trip which made my day.

I was flipping through the TV channels, suddenly something caught my attention. It was 2003 Wimbledon final match, last few minutes of the game, the moment which brought tennis fans all over the world to the edge of the chair. Suddenly the man drops to his knees, his forehead touching the tennis racket held in his right hand! Then he arises and walks away from the court, sits in the courtside chair, put his hands to his face and then he starts to sob. He lifts the trophy awarded to him, he kisses the token of his accomplishment while trying to fight the welling tears, tears of joy, tears of attainment, tears of living up to the expectation of his Country, tears of relief! Uncontrollable emotions he sobs and sobs...To my surprise tears swelled in my eyes albeit I am unaware of the game and don't know this man who is living the greatest moment of his life! The only thing which made sense was - 'The Game was won, hinting and hoping Great things!' and the winner is 'Roger Federer'. The passion, the dedication, the perfection, the triumph which I saw on the TV screen had kept me in thrall for couple of minutes. The wonderful moment is still green in my heart! Whenever I hear the word ‘Wimbledon’, my mind replays the scene.

Kiss and Kick!!

Hmmm....What to Say.....after reading something..which is the fact of life!

I read something from my inspirer's blog, in which she has mentioned "When you come in the world everybody wants to kiss you :) but, before you go out everybody wants to kick you!"
One sentence - if you just read it..it's just one sentence. Read it, re-read it, think about it, analyse it...Ohh! Gosh! The fact of life, reality of the world, the very human nature, withering relationships, diminishing innocence and what not..everything is captured in one sentence!

When you come to this world, you bring happiness to the family,hopes to your parents, promises to the lives you are associated/going to be associated with. Also at that time you are someone who doesn't have any complains and demands, who doesn't have selfishness, who is so pure and innocent, who is uncompetitive,  who is deaf and dumb to every lie uttered, who is blind to every wrongdoing,you believe everything, you astonish for everything, you are content and happy. you just smile or cry for everything. you are serene and so complete! Isn't it sweet? Everybody loves you and wants to kiss you!!!

As you grow up, when you starts understanding the things around, serenity vanishes slowly as the reality of the world usurps. The innocence which was so evident, is now at the verge of extinct!!! Now you have lots of demands! You are selfish because you have thirst. You cannot be pure when you are in the filth. You compete because you want to win. You are no more insensitive to the things around you, so you complain! You cannot be excited for petty things when you have better things to do. You cannot be content amidst the tempt! You cannot smile when you had a blue day. Isn't it true? Then how can you expect everyone to love you? Reality is at one or the other time everyone would have wanted to kick you!!

QC1215

What a weird title isn't it? It's okay I don't mind! :p.

Warning:  Only if you are a crap talker, or you are as cool as cucumber, or you don't have any work, go ahead and read it! Because I am not ready to take anybody's frustration, am already tired after a long terrific battle!.

First let me explain, what is this QC1215 -  In RPA we use Quality Centre to track the defects, and 1215 is the defect number which was raised against my code. So it is QC1215. Yay..it's no longer a defect because it got rejected!!! Can you believe it? I can't ..hope this is not a dream! (I know the person who had to reject this defect is mad at me!)Don't ask me 'Kya pagal hogayi ho kya? ek defect ko itna bada issue kyon bana rahi ho? and all'. I know this is silly! But literature is unbiased, it takes both silly and sensible stuffs. I just want to give a literary touch to the incident and personify certain things in my life!

This defect is the child of incorrect corroboration and wrong interpretation! One fine day this defect which made me almost a warrior (one who is contending for the credibility of his code...lol) came to the family of R11.1b (this is the release name;p). How can I stand this new thing(or member whatever you want to call) which is jeopardising the believability of the code. I had to fight with one of the family members who welcomed this defect to the family! Because I felt that this defect (thing) is not trustworthy, I was afraid that everyone in the family may go against the SP5 Extract code which is innocent in this matter. It has already undergone so much pain, pain of fighting all the odds, handling all the issues alone. So I wanted to fight for it, no matter what it takes, I just wanted to prove to the world that QC1215's decision is not aright. He(1215) doesn't have the right to speak ill of SP5 Extract code. I fought and fought,agrued and debated with my friend, finally today he agreed to boot out his friend 1215 from our R11.1b family( I mean he rejected the defect..lol). I know my friend is innocent, he was just doing his duty and was tricked by 1215! My intension was not to hurt him by separating him from his friend, I just wanted to safeguard the credibility of SP5 Extract code, one who had almost reached his destination but still agreed to come back to square one, to take care of missed things!!!

PS: This is dedicated to the fighter(Mr. V), who fought sincerely till the end. I like the attitude of fighting till the end with never ending hope and accepting the defeat in a graceful manner. Because attitude matters, not the victory or defeat! Keep up the spirit friend :).

Another Day Has Gone?!

It's just that I am fending myself off  from blogging for last one week to go to bed early! (usually my blogging activity starts after 12am :p). After slogging at office it's hard to be awake till 2am to produce some creative work, though it makes you feel better.
Today was another frustrated,discomfited,feverish day! Don't know sometimes though you have friends around, you feel shipwrecked! Is it because of hectic work? Homesickness?uncertainity about the future?
Every day why I have to return home with loads of pending work, worries, sense of incompleteness? Why don't I feel fresh and energetic when I get up in the morning? Where is the enthu? - avidity to make things better, fight with the odds, dedication to accomplish the task.
Why today I am feeling like going home and throw myself in papa's arms to seek comfort? Why am I yearning to keep my head on mom's lap and cry my heart out? Ohh looks like deluge of work & tiredness have gotten on me! Now..I can remember Michael Jackson's - You are not alone song..which I am going to adapt to my situation!

Another Day has gone
 I am still the Same
How could this be..
Enthu is not here with me..

I was not of this type
Someone tell me why..
should I loose the hope
To make myself droop..

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did trust slip away
Something whipsers in my
    ear and says..

That you are not alone..
For I am here with you
Though you can't see me
  I am within you..

It's just a negative thought
everything will be alright
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear..

Trust me I am with you
A voice whispers in me
and says.. that
You Are not Alone

Bye Buddy!

It doesn't feel good to bid adieu! I always think why things change so quickly? Why can't they remain same always? Why only Change is Constant  in life?  But these thoughts will be subdued  by the voice which says " Things change to give you another chance in life, Things change to give you an opportunity to grow as a person, Things change to give you broader perspective of life, Things change to make your life more interesting, Change is Permanent to fend off your life from being Stagnate!".

I said bid adieu, Yes. Yesterday in Office When Poo gave her Good bye speech, I could sense the gushing emotions behind her words! I like it if things are graced with emotional touch!!(I don't know why, probably you are a sentimental fool - Some heartless people might say so..luckily I have not met anyone like that so far). Then I started thinking about saying good bye and all those stuffs..I thought and thought till night 1:30am..then decided to dedicate a poem to Poo :)

Here it goes....

I thought and thought, to convey what I meant

    I fought and combat with the thought

        To express my sentiment.

An emotive time, its hard to write a farewell note

        I wish I could stop the moment

          which compels us to depart!

Never regret but recall the sweet memories of past

    forget the hurt, grow with the lessons learnt

           And move on with your trait.

My prayer to almighty, may thy future be bright

       Persue your dreams, sky is the limit

           If you have an immortal quest!

In the sojourn of life, the fact that we met,

 and the time we spent,compels me to cite
     May you be blessed with the best.

Polyglot!!!?

I want to be a polyglot! (Don't laugh!). I am serious. I dream about being one. I thought of starting with South Indian languages first. The reason being I have tried my hand at Malayalam and Telugu, so want to finish the incomplete activity first. Hope this time the plan will not be blessed by 'Procrastination'!. Long back someone from North India had inspired me by her dedication to learn one of the South Indian languages (Kannada)! One fine day this known stranger came out of nowhere and rekindled the desire in my heart. So this time I sincerely want to give it a go.

Of late, a friend has agreed to teach me Malayalam. This is dedicated to that friend.

Gone were the days when I had this craze,
An unknown Zeal to learn a new language..
I tried my hand at the language of God's Own Country!
Futility of my assay! I realized it after a scrutiny..
There was no teacher to aim further, and nurture the desire
You being a Keralite made it lot easier..
The magic of the mail 'God and Keralite',
Gave this insight, why shouldn't I ask you to instruct!
No intention to disturb you and your solitude,
This is to the Guru!, to express my gratitude.

What am I doing...? Why am I doing it?

Let me serve the purpose of coming to office over the weekend to do some boring stuffs, atleast by penning down the spurting feelings..!!! UuOoooo UuOoooo here it is...

Neither a purpose nor a destination,
Uncontrollable things going on and on...
Thinking things over and over, no seriousness,
Still I continue doing it though I am dubious...
No light and Sunshine, the path look tedious,
Lonesome journey...boredom is obvious...
Life gives you the chance, don’t be an idiot,
Embrace the ‘escapism’ when there is a need for it!!!

Welcoming Online Nemesis!

Question mark on your face?Are you wondering who this Online Nemesis is? Well.. She is one of my friends and I like to read the poems written by her. She posted this poem in the comments section but I felt it is worth publishing!(With her permission ;)) I take immense pleasure in posting her literary work in my blog along with a small poem dedicated to her! :)

Some People write but they don’t want to be in the light!
Someone has got talent and only prefers to ghost-write!!?
I am sure her writings will leave here an impression.
Let me welcome her to the blog called ‘Perception’.
With a hope that she will be a blogger soon! ;)

Here it goes.. Written by Online Nemesis..

There is No Title for THIS!

Spending your day with land
thats shift split and merge
Can awaken in any mortal soul
this highly incessant urge!

To pen down thoughts and feelings
or any reflections of your mind
Now who would better understand
than your very own kind?

Limerick, couplet, sonnet
or be it any silly rhyme
Always worth scribbling it,
no matter what the time!

At the end of a weary day,
its this avocation that helps you rest
Or just braces you for a new day,
which is yet another "test"!

Do we need a title for this??

When deluge of work don’t allow you to blog
No other way except to dodge...
No need to be sad, you are not writing for a mag..
But don’t let the letdown to be a clog..
Just remember this locution which helps to unclog..
“Whenever compulsion is there enjoy it! And of course dear You Can Do It!!"

Why this happens?

Sometimes...You want to cry but tears go dry,
Sometimes...You want to be happy but you can’t assay,
Sometimes...You are so lost, lost in your own negative trait,
Sometimes...You don’t want to care; still you will be left in a stupor,
Sometimes...you don’t know why you write still you proceed to indite!











Why is this overcast? Why can’t I stave it off? How do I brush it off?

Reverence

This article is dedicated to one who inspired me to start blogging!

Have you ever gone through the state wherein you have a burning desire to do something but still something is holding you back? Have you ever experienced the state wherein you are struggling to get motivated but someone inspires you and your vision becomes clear? Have you ever experienced how good it feels to be inspired and motivated?

I always had the urge to write though I am not equipped with a great mental lexicon. Whenever I read a prose, poem or even the status message on the Instant Messenger, beauty of the language delights my heart. When I think too much, the debate inside me desires to be expressed! But in the mundane, workday world it was not always possible to fulfil this desire. After my graduation I had almost forgotten that there is something which raptures my heart.

I always wanted to express my emotions but for some unknown reasons I kept dodging it. Suddenly one day I happened to come across with a blog, blog where I can see the reflection of my emotions, my thoughts, and my feelings expressed in an extremely well manner. I was awestruck! My joy knew no bounds! The person who had once inspired me when I was a child had come once I again in my life to bring back the lost thing! How can I thank this wonderful person? How can I express my feelings of reverence? I am severely handicapped by my poor vocabulary to express my gratitude!

I know her, hope she recognizes me when I meet her, I am waiting for the day to meet this inspirer. I am eager to see her expression when I reveal her, how powerful her words were to inspire someone like me. I wish wherever she is, whatever she does, May God be with her.

Why People Smoke?

Actually I had a thought that I should write about smoking. I wanted to dedicate that article to all the smokers!! I thought of trying my best to illustrate the ill effects of smoking. But the only thing I knew about smoking was ‘Smoking is injurious to health’. So I thought of getting some information from google. I wanted to write it in a way - that would instil fear into smokers mind and tempt them to quit smoking!!!(Probably too much to expect ;)). But after browsing about the ill effects of smoking I shudder to think about it! I quit! :(
I can’t dwell about the hazardous effects of smoking and articulate it!

Why people get addicted to deadly habits like smoking? Why? Why? Why? Even they know that it is deleterious to health but still they enjoy it. There are so many ways to enjoy life still people opt for something which is a slow poison! Hmm...Probably they are risk-takers!?!? I know human beings are mortal, but why to embrace the harbinger of death? God forbid, is dying so cool? Once again, God forbid! Does anyone dream about painful death?? Does this smoker title make you feel good or add feather to your cap? I am aware that these questions will never be answered and asking such kind of questions itself is a stupidity!! Still I ask questions in the hope of getting an explanation, which would help me to end my thought process at least with any of the punctuation marks if not full stop.

PS: One last question to the smoker (by any chance if a smoker reads this) – Have you ever googled about the ‘Ill effects of smoking’? 'Yes'?!!! I can’t believe still you smoke!!!

Rule Breaking

There is a saying ‘To err is human, to forgive is divine’. But some mistakes will be considered as offense and you will have to face the consequences. Sometimes though you know that you are committing a mistake you just let that happen. If you are lucky, you will get through it, else you will have to face the music! Some blunders will be forgiven but some mistakes will be punished depending on the circumstances and your luck.

Today I had an experience of breaching the office security rule! It was not intentional but committed out of sheer impatience and incognizance of the consequences. The story includes 4 of us (Sh, N, U and S), office receptionist and the security guard (A). Story has got some fun, some confusion, some anxiety, some lessons, etc...

The Story:
Yesterday we had team lunch at Wagamama. One of my colleagues(N) had left her ID card at her desk, while returning back to the office, she squeezed inside the pod situated at the entrance (Some of the RPA offices have got this kind of entrance system where only one person is supposed to enter at a time) along with the other colleague(Sh). The receptionist, who noticed this act, followed them to warn about the act of breaking security rule. I (S) was coming just behind these two friends of mine and swiped my card oblivious to the fact that the other side of the pod is still open. My side of the door didn’t open so I swiped my card once again. It didn’t work. I remembered the receptionist saying on my first day at this office that – the card doesn’t work if you swipe it more than once!! I thought receptionist has gone for lunch and I didn’t have the patience to wait for her. So I decided to use my friend’s idea! I squeezed in along with another friend of mine (U) in spite of his opposition.

Guilt, Confusion and Fun:
Today morning while entering the office building, the receptionist didn’t welcome us (S & Sh) with her smile. She asked Sh about yesterday’s act and I pitched in and apologised for my mistake (I wonder why someone should be so proactive in confessing!! Miss ‘S’ good for you, if you use your hyperactivity for some other purpose!!). In the afternoon while coming back from lunch, the security guard asked us,’ were you the 2 ladies who broke security rule yesterday’. My heart sank while answering ‘yes’ to this question. He asked us to send him an e-mail with our names. While walking back to my desk all I could feel was guilt (probably I was overreacting)! My mind was thinking about the following:
1. I represent my company in the client office, if I breach the rule here that will put my company to shame.
2. I epitomize my country in this foreign nation, tomorrow if someone says ‘this girl from IDC (India Delivery Centre) infringed the security rule’ that will be too much for me.
3. I was offended for making someone else to be part of this offense.

But thanks to all the friends who eased my mood by contributing to the lively environment of fun or by consoling me. Sh sent an email to A, the security guard/officer (Am not sure about his designation: P) for no fault of her. Still she kept herself composed and being witty at times especially when A replied to her mail expressing his confusion!! The confusion was receptionist had seen 2 ladies (N,Sh), S apologised to the receptionist along with Sh, A had spoken to 2 ladies about this (S,Sh) but in the mail there were 4 names :P. So he had asked her to send 2 names who entered the pod at a time. It was really fun to decide which 2 names to be sent now. People enjoyed the free show of others getting screwed up and gave some suggestions!!! Finally Sh took the bold decision of “Let us not confuse the confused people”. The decision was - to send the names of Sh and N. Later if they ask about other 2 names or the girl who volunteered to apologise, we can tell them about the story of other pod!!

Now I don’t know what turn this incident is going to take, but I feel that what was meant to be happened has happened and it cannot be undone. So there is no point in worrying about this!

I asked this question ‘n’ no. of times, being remorseful
Why did you run afoul?
No answer to the question, my soul is screeching
With the pain of guilty feeling...
I told my heart you can’t control the happenings
Let bygones be bygones...
I dreaded the worst, am praying for the best
With never ending trust...

Just a Thought!

Whenever I hear the words - ‘Lessons Learnt!’ my thoughts start churning as to what lessons I am learning from my day today experiences? Is life teaching me any lessons? Or am I not sensible enough to sense the positive connotations in disguise? At the end of the day, do I have the complacence of providing justice to something that I am accountable to? When these kinds of questions begin to race, I tend to run with them until I am tired and then I start scribbling about my persuasions.

I believe simple incidents in life can teach you so many things if you are ready to accept your flaws and open to learn. Normal conversation can give some sudden insight and change your perception of the things. A child’s company can show you how to be happy, how to be content, how to be pure. Office receptionist can show you how to be punctual!! At times, some stranger may show you how to be human!

People around might be picky, take it easy, and try to get better. Criticism on your way will make you aim for perfection. Discouragement can act as a fuel for the burning desire to prove. Mistakes will teach you how to be heedful!

I know these things are easy to preach but hard to follow. Most of the times we tend to ignore petty things in life. But if you think about it, petty things/observations can teach you a lot. Mindset is something which blocks everything. If you clear the air by your willingness to learn, you start appreciating the fact and embrace the process of learning!

Observation (ya Obsession!?)

Each individual is different. Everybody is one of their kinds. There might be some similarities in the thinking and behaviour but still they are different. From phrenology to psychology the reason for this difference is still muddy. Anyway Individualism is not the cornerstone of this article! The point I want to make here is even I am one of my kind!!! And sometimes I find myself being silly but you know some obsessions you really can’t help!!!
I had/ have this weird habit of observing people’s palm!!! Not because I am interested in ‘Palmistry’ and also I know that palm is composed of small bones and there are nearly 14 bones(is it really 14 bones? Correct me if am wrong!) joined together which give shape to the palm . It’s just a habit. Believe me am so good at it (LOL)! Bet you, I can recognize you only by seeing your palm if you are not a stranger!!
Now....the whole reason for writing this – I just want to get rid of the thoughts related to this palm observation. Is it a psychological disorder??Any psychologists there? I have seen people observing others foot, eyes, nose, hair, walking style, talking style what not!! So I don’t think this palm observing job is harmful ;) Okay....enough of theory let’s talk about practical examples of some interesting palms!!
During my childhood I used to observe my cousin’s palms. She has got really neat and long fingers which gives glamour to every action her hand performs!! And as a child I used to dream about having such palms! I even thought that, it is such an asset and I am not fortunate enough to have it (I repeat as a child I had such feeling!) I don’t like my palms still I love them because they are mine ;). I was thinking that I like only long skinny fingers until I met this friend of mine whose hands are really soft like cotton and surprisingly they are not long and skinny but still I admired it ! We used to tease her that ‘don’t shake hands with anyone’ ;) (Note: those hands can draw unbelievable pictures! And now you know who this buddy is ;)).
Recently I came across with an interesting palm which belong to one of my colleagues (related person - please don’t be mad at me!). This palm is kind of childish (I mean baccho jaise: P) but it is cute (especially when it is typing). It has got this innocent look and I guess that’s why it caught my attention (I like innocent things/beings! ...).
In my life I have met more interesting palms but now I am running short of words and time to give details about all of them. So I am giving a full stop to ‘Palm Description’.

PS: This palm observation includes all the categories.. child ya old, female ya male, there is no barrier! :p

So weird..

Mushy mind is wandering here and there
It’s really weird who would care!
Yesterday eyes were moist, you cried for nothing
Today is bright, big smile for everything!

You need to be strong when things go wrong
Life is bliss, enjoy the swing
Every moment is precious to lose, still you ignore
Ignore the fact that worries will fade!

Every cloud has a silver lining,
Learn to move on with your wing,
You have it in you, still you dread
I really wonder, it’s so weird!

ಜನನಿ

ಹೃದಯ ತುಡಿಯುತಿದೆ ಆ ಭಾವ ಸ್ಪಂದನಕೆ
ಮನವು ಮಿಡಿಯುತಿದೆ ಆ ನೆನಪ ಕಲರವಕೆ
ಮಾತು ಮೌನವಾಗಿದೆ ಆ ಮಾತೆ ಋಣಕೆ
ಈ ಜೀವ ನಮಿಸುತಿದೆ ಆ ಬಂಧ ಅನುಬಂಧಕೆ

Aloneness

I always thought that loneliness is nothing but staying alone at home, going to shopping alone, eating alone, watching movie alone, etc... And I always wondered how people can stay alone at home!!! I used to ask people these kinds of silly questions (I still have that habit!) Isn’t it boring to stay alone? Are you not scared? What if you fall sick? What if something goes wrong? etc...etc... I had this misconception that ‘staying alone is something I can never do in life – Oh God I will be so lonely kind of feeling’.

Lately the changes in life have changed the meaning of the word ‘loneliness’ in my dictionary. Staying alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have anyone in life. It is just that in the sojourn of life, you are travelling alone for some time. You still have the fragrance of loved ones presence with you in their absence. There are people to bring smile on your face. You have everyone though your journey is lonesome. Sometimes life gives you the chance to be in solitude to realize your potentials. But we misunderstand it for loneliness!!!

An individual becomes lonely when he starts running away from the truth, running away from the self. The care and love showered by loved ones will not help to the catharsis when you lose the company of yourself, that’s when you become lonely!

There is a dearth of confidence, bunch of uncertainties..
Full of negativities and I am scared of losing my trait
Locked up emotions overpowering the guts of mind..
This horrible state of loneliness, Oh! Almighty
My Prayer to Thee..., please save the mankind...


P.S. This is just my thoughts, this doesn’t mean that I am lonely and have become loony! In fact have got much more to say about loneliness but for the time being I am done ;)

Loathfulness

I am sitting in office... I have got hell lot of work, still not in a mood to start, so thought of writing some lines... It really helped to get back the mood!!!



Here it goes...
Gloomy day, sleepy mind...
Someone is dying to fight the mood swing ..
Rushing emotions ya detached devotions...
Something is screaming to stop the ding..
Give me some light, please ignite the delight...
I want to live, live up to the Ming ...

Intuition

I think I should start writing, I think I should start scribbling.... penning down my thoughts, running behind the mysterious feelings lurking from a murky mind, analyse each and every bit of life,ahh!! the list goes on... isn’t it something I craved for ??? Finally I found a means to communicate my thoughts inspired by somebody’s blog!!! I could then comprehend the words which my intuition always said to me...








I ponder, I wonder, I am innominate
I exist, I persist, I am a thought
Years passed, Days disdain the desire...
My yearn for existence, effort to seek salvation
Things went in vain adding fuel to the pain...
Still I wait.... wait for the day...the day of Silver Lining...